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The Misadventures of The Working Girl

Monday morning, 5:30am, my alarm went off. I snoozed, at least twice, so my actual waking up time was 5:50am. Fortunately, I’d already packed my breakfast and my lunch the night before. In my head, 5:50am was a pretty decent time. Right? Wrong!!! Lang’ata road traffic would prove otherwise.

At 8:24 am, I was stuck between Galleria and Bomas for approximately 45 minutes. I kid you not. Surprisingly, I was not even panicky, I was relatively calm for a late employee (I absolutely hate how this has become working girl’s outstanding trait).

For the first time on this road, I saw a fleet of private cars turning back. Must be nice being them, maybe they discovered an alternative route, which I highly doubt, because matatus could have been onto them. Matatu drivers probably have a hint about where the narrow road to heaven is, seeing as to how no route is impassable to them.

They make a way, even where there seems to be no way. Bad joke, Nka, bad joke. Allow me tell you about the first matatu conductor earlier on today. I boarded a Kenyatta matatu from my home stage. It looked promising. I’d heard the conductor quote the standard price, Ksh. 100. Upon getting to Tuskys, he quoted an even higher fare, Ksh. 150.

The passengers were not having it, myself included. There was a mini-riot where we all protested against his blatant robbery and trickery (and greed, honestly) and we all agreed to pay the price he’d told us initially.

They turned back to where we came from, after he and the driver had a discussion. Had he quoted that price from the word go, we’d have had a trouble free ride. The principle is not the money, the principle here is the truth. One man stood up and said, “Hii pesa hatulimi, tunaifanyia kazi.” I felt really bad for him.

Some passengers outrightly told him, “Turudishe mahali umetutoa!”. We had to alight. That saw me walk to another stage, where I boarded an honest conductor’s matatu. The transportation fee he quoted is exactly what we all paid.

I made a walking buddy after alighting the first one, by the way. We walked as we talked. She was fortunate enough to get a vehicle that plied her route on the way. I soldiered on, alone, to the next busy stage where I was sure I’d get matatus in plenty.

Back to being stuck in traffic at Galleria for forty five minutes. Two people alighted and started walking after we made it past Galleria, my first guess was that their destinations were along Lang’ata road and not town, like the rest of us, in that case, it was faster that way and I wished them well.

Allow me rant about the guy-girl besties (or the couple) that boarded the matatu too. The guy missed the public transport etiquette class where we were taught to use earphones, he watched TikTok videos without his. I am a huge TikTok consumer, so most of those rhymes were too familiar. I possibly can’t be the only TikTok lover who hums those tunes randomly as they go about their day.

I called in work, to say that I was stuck in traffic and that I’d be really late, they understood. The unexpected happened at 8:50 am, we were transferred to another vehicle, a moving one. It was quite scary. What if I lost my grip? What if I fell? I can confidently say that I can survive Nairobi, yes? I hoped on a car that was moving guys.

Here’s what happened, mid chaotic traffic, the conductor decided they won’t go to town, so they changed cause and ‘abandoned us’, leaving us in the hands of a terrible driver who refused to stop and kept driving as we boarded. So inhumane! At 9:04am I was at Wilson Airport.

My day was off to such a dramatic and chaotic start, my week, even. I chose to rely on the Lord’s word, that pain may endure at night, but joy surely cometh in the morning. The chaos was my night, my joy would eventually come in the morning, which could be anything from later on that day or throughout the week.

I kept thinking along the way that my tardiness is something that needed to be addressed in my life. Had I woken up earlier, maybe I would have had such a smooth ride to work.

I changed my alarm to 5:00am to avoid all the drama for the rest of the week. I might have hurt my arm from hoping onto the matatu. I was also poked by a loose silver lining (so ironical) as I alighted. Yes, it left a mark, and it was painful.

I got to work, my work computer was a tad bit problematic, so that saw it undergo repairs the whole morning. Couldn’t my day get any worse??? All in all, I was grateful to get home to my parents and talk to them about my day. It was comforting, they were comforting.

5:20 am, Tuesday morning, you were up, working girl. 7:50am, got to work. Well in, working girl.❤️.

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TYPES OF MATATU PASSANGERS

THIS WAS MY FIRST EVER BLOG.

Monday 10th July 2017

Normally when I am coming back from school I board at least two matatus home (kweli Rongai ni mbali), on this particular day I decided not to listen to music on my phone and pay attention to the environment around me.  Usually I plug in my earphones and wear them and listen to music in public, I only remove them when I meet an elder, or a friend, or when conversing with a vendor about his commodity of trade, especially the pineapple guy next to that petrol station.

I was expectant, really, I was hoping I’d see something different. When you listen to music you get lost in your own world, becoming oblivious of what is happening around you. I didn’t know that in a short while I’d see so much drama. There are many characters in a public service vehicle.  Here are some who caught my attention and some worth mentions:-

1. *Mr/Miss Jenga Mwili Haribu Jina*  From groundnuts to fries, there are only so many types of  food one could eat , but not in a matatu.  The above listed have a distinct smell, and it spreads all around , making it a rather uncomfortable trip to your destination.

2. *Mteja Wa Nambari* I love talking, I could talk from morning to evening. In a public vehicle, I try to tone down a bit, and keep the conversation as short as possible, but there are people out there who don’t have these restrictions.  This type will talk from the time the matatu leaves the stage upto the point he or she alights. Make no mistake, the volume is not controlled, they are as loud as they can get, they even laugh uncontrollably at whatever story they are being told.  You can actually gather information from the conversation, as no chills are observed, everything is put out in the open.

3. *Tafadhali Niambie Tukifika* Newbies.  Everywhere, All Round.  It’s there first time here, you can smell the fear of ‘kupitishwa’ or ‘conductor kusahau’ from a far. They keep nudging the conductor to stell them when they get there.  That day it was a girl whose hair was dyed red, had a skimpy skirt on and a bareback,had carried a jacket and a small bag, she was talking to a certain ‘My Heart’ , telling him/her that the conductor will show her where that supermarket is. Karibuni lakini, I hope you’ll love it here. The more , the merrier.

4. *The Couple* Lovebirds.  Aaah, you cannot miss this not so rare breed in a matatu, or on the streets and in restaurants.  Why they choose to display their affection I fail to understand.  Yes, It’s a free world,but you have the rest of the day together.  Why then do you insist on holding hands , kissing, hugging and getting extremely touchy in a matatu?  I don’t entirely hate PDA, but isn’t it sexier when it’s on the downlow?  I can’t help but notice the older women and mens’ profound disgust on their faces. If they had the power they’d smack you right there and then. Ama kweli, Mapenzi Kikohozi (It cannot be hidden). Please, get yourselves a room.

5. *’Boss, Wapi Change Yangu?* Indeed, once bitten, twice shy.  You can tell by the look on their faces that they have been deprived of ‘haki yao’ by conductors.  The urgency in their voices is enough to tell you that these people do not want to be robbed again.  They pinched their ears the day they alighted minus their change.  We really do learn from experience and past mistakes.  If the conductor is kind, he’ll give you your change instantly, if not he’ll probably wait till you set foot on your stage.

6. *A Zone Called Oblivion(The Confused And The Oblivious) Season 1* ‘Shukisha hapo Chap Chap!’ The guy shouted.  The actual stage was ‘Fairmat’ , In his defence, both of them are supermarkets. When we got to Fairmat, he shouted louder and louder , telling the driver to stop. The vehicle came to an abrupt halt. He alighted, cussing at the conductor, when he was at fault.  The poor conductor received backlashing of his life.  He was only listening to instructions. He didn’t respond. This was followed by a lot of giggles in the matatu. The man went home, still in his zone of oblivion. I doubt he figured it out.

7.  *Self Proclaimed Media Personality* This are my favourites, to be honest.  They are people who will see something and exclaim for everyone to hear.  They’ll see an accident and tell the story like he was there, even though no one is paying attention, they will soldier on , as the rest of the voyagers look with their mouths agape. In this category, there are other types who tell the whole matatu the story. They are talking to their seatmate, but everyone can hear it, giving vivid description, at times you feel like you know those people. Carry On Soldiers, You have a story to tell.

8. *Simba Mwenda Pole, Hula Nyama* ‘Hatuna haraka ya kufika!’ they’ll shout.  These human rights activists do not like speed and reckless driving.  They’d rather stick to the traffic instead of getting there quick. I prefer the latter, to be honest, stagnation frustrates me, literally. These activists’ flames do not get extinguished by the numerous insults hurled at them by the conductors, who do not at all mind their language. 8. *Ulisema Ni 50* They come, see,  but don’t conquer, to be frank. They assume that the money they have to offer is what is being charged and nothing more. This gets rather ugly as a heated exchange occurs between them and the conductor.  No one else is complaining, so that means indeed you didn’t ask first. They guilt trip the conductor, hoping that they’ll have the last laugh, but to no avail. Kuuliza Si Ujinga, before you board the vehicle, please ask how much it is.

9 *Usingizi mtamu si haba* Type of people that can sleep anywhere at anytime, even the bumps are not enough to destroy their goal of napping. They will sleep on the seatmate’s shoulder, who probably doesn’t know them. If someone is considerate, they’ll allow, probably because they were working late, or just tired from the day’s endeavors , but very few people can do that. Majority will be agitated, polite ones tapping the person and impatient ones ruthlessly shaking off the victim of slumber. 9. *Kelele Za Chura…* ‘Reduce Volume’  ‘Change Ngoma’ All these are pleas to deaf ears. Maybe the music wasn’t as loud when you boarded the vehicle, but as soon as you sat comfortably to read your ebook, the blaring sounds filled the atmosphere. Am sure earmuffs would do. I regret not the path I chose to forego earphones, in a short while, I had seen so much.  Life’s one big soap opera

DON’T SAVE IT, SIS.

Hey guys, I found this in my drafts from March 2020 when COVID hit us.❤️❤️. I still found it relevant and decided to publish it.

Dresses, perfume, a hairstyle, meals, dates, shoes, even money, sometimes. DON’T SAVE IT.

BY NKATHA MUTUNGI 26th MARCH 2020

Allow me play the devil’s advocate in today’s article. We’re in the middle of a global pandemic and I’m sure the last thing you’d want to hear from someone is ‘Do Not Save That’.

At a time riddled with people stocking up for at least the next two weeks, saving might seem like a reasonable option for those who may not be blessed with much. I am not talking about that kind of saving.

Before the whole self quarantine directive, I used to hold back on some fun things. Say a new friend suggested we go try out a new restaurant or go for a cocktail date, I’d opt out and stay indoors and you know, chill.

Oh, how I wish I could turn back the hands of time and go back to a month before this crisis. What was I saving my time for then? I have so much of it right now I don’t know what to do with it.

Today, I’d like to encourage you to stop this scarcity mentality. That ‘where will I get another cute dress if I wear this to work today?’ Oh ye of little faith. You’ve not even come across your best dress yet.

No, really, you need to STOP! Look, I’m not trying to dictate how you should live your life, but at least hear me out. I feel like I’m making so much sense. When all this is trouble is over, let’s stop ‘saving things for special days’…

I am not advocating for reckless living, all I’m saying is, if you can afford that cute polka dot dress – and still have some money in case of any emergency, or if you like ‘rainy days’ – why not just go ahead and buy it? You like it, don’t you? Get It Then. Just make sure it is within your means, don’t go broke trying to look rich.

Wanted to ask a babe or a guy out? Might as well have; now look at you, you are both in self quarantine, you cannot go out on a proper date because of the anxiety that looms. You also don’t want to put each other at risk because y’all don’t know who y’all have interacted with. When all this is over, please go for that date, but only IF YOU WANT TO.

Ever saved a dress for an spectacular event and on the said date it rained so heavily that you had to wear a long trench coat over your masterpiece? As if that is not enough, on that day you get a really good photographer, but you cannot remove the coat because well, it’s so damn cold. Bummer!

Murphy’s law, anything that can possibly go wrong, will go wrong. So please put on that dress while you can.

Have you ever saved so much money to buy an item, denying yourself good things, only to thrust the priced possession in the ‘Never to be used’ box on one corner of your room? Then you walk around for three days with regret and contempt, because you should have bought the good things you were denying yourself. Life’s very funny.

I have another one, ever gone somewhere and wanted to ask a question about something but held back and followed your own thinking? After all the strain, you discover that you’d have saved yourself so much energy, time and money even, by asking questions.

Fear sometimes holds us back from asking, most of the time, you really have nothing to lose. Next time, please don’t save those questions. Ask until you cannot ask again, like your life depends on asking those necessary questions.

We’ve come to that part of the journey where the board says, ‘You are now leaving the article, see you soon.’ I was your tour guide, Betty with the good hair, if you may. I hope you’ve enjoyed the part of the journey where we have learnt not to save things. Go ahead and use them if you want to. We’re only here once.

Is it that fantastic dress that flatters your body, the perfume your lover got you for your birthday (I clearly watch too many movies) and those heels that you really like? Please don’t save them for the ‘right date’.

I hope after this, we’ll all learn to live in the moment and stop waiting for ‘the right time’ to find us.

Don’t wait for that event to have fun; it may be cancelled by a virus.

Light and Love,

Nkatha.

Update 30th April 2021:- If you’re choosing to ‘not save’ these things, please maintain all COVID-19 precautionary measures. Wear your mask, sanitize, wash your hands and maintain social distance.

Thank you and goodbye.

24 Things I Know For Sure.❤️.

Hi, my name is Miss No Idea Fam (just incase you forgot, you know, since I’ve been inconsistent). I write sometimes, scratch that, a lot of times. The Good Man Above (I love this name for Him, just came up with it) assigned the gift of writing to His servant, me.

Have I been consistent? By all means, no. Do I keep coming back to it? Like Jonah, I realize that you cannot run away from your calling. The big fish, in this case procrastination and downright laziness had swallowed me and I stayed in its belly for exactly two months, I haven’t written here since January 28th.

I’m back, bearing gifts. Gifts in form of words. I hope you accept them as my peace offering.

I turned 24 10 days ago and I thought I’d drop a few things I’ve learnt along the way.

1. God is everything.

He’s real. He listens. I’ve seen His work in my life (lmao, sounds like a testimony).

2. Family will always have your back.

They really love you. Also, you should be grateful for a strong support system.

3. Gratitude is a must.

There’s so much going on for you. Why not choose to focus on that? Sometimes your mind may trick you into thinking otherwise, don’t give in.

Thank God for everything. Here’s one thing to kick-start your gratitude journalling:- You are alive, you’re here reading this blog

4. Try new hair.

As long as it’s a protective style, why not?

5. Buy yourself books.

Read, young boy/girl, read. Whether it’s fiction that floats your boat, African Literature or self-help, soma.

6. People die.

Sucks, right? Sometimes, sadly, it’s people you’ve really grown to like or those that you love.

7. Buy Yourself Flowers.

Just do it.

8. You’ll find your peeps.

No man is an island, my younger self was obsessed with the ‘I can live alone’ facade. 24 year old me doesn’t mind a community of friends. All I know is, you’ll find some.

They’ll be hiring (getting new ones), firing (some friendships end and that’s life), demoting (no bad blood, things fizzle out) and promoting (some people have always been right before you, sounds cliché, but it’s true).

9. It’s okay to be sad.

You’re human, Nana, you’ll get in funks. Just remember, don’t sit with your sadness for too long.

10. Your parents were right.

16-year old you would roll her eyes at this, ey? You grow up and find out that these people give the best advice. They make a lot of sense.

11. Twitter is addictive.

Isn’t all social media? Lol. Twitter is the university we all needed to go to ~Nka, 2021~. Some tweets are so hilarious and others really insightful.

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Warning:- There’s a really dark side though, like where all the people who were badly hurt and never healed went. On that side, they spew hate. Go to the good side, the one with cute videos of babies and dogs.

12. Get plants.

They give you a sense of purpose. Now I’m out here removing weeds and adding fertilizer, like a real plant mummy.

13. Good people exist.

They do.

14. Wear more colour.

It brightens up your mood.

15. Your natural hair is beautiful, your nose too.

I say screw all the standards of beauty. Your body is also beautiful too.

16. Your mistakes don’t define you.

Forgive yourself for stomaching nonsense you had no business tolerating.

Stop beating yourself up for being in toxic relationships, etc.

17. Bad things happen to good people.

Let’s normalize this. Life happens, even to the best of us. You could be inherently good and bad things will still happen to you. No, you’re not being punished for anything bad.

18. It’s okay to change your mind once you come across new information.

19. Track your expenditure.

Trust me, you’ll thank me later. Save too, save a lot. 🙂

20. Share your story fearlessly.

You really cannot shame the shameless. I enjoy consuming content of people who are proud of the battles they’ve overcome.

I absolutely love unapologetic TMI!!!

21. Take as many photos as you can.

You’re not breaking any law, baby. TAKE👏🏼 THOSE 👏🏼PHOTOS.👏🏼 Kill us with your beauty!!!

22. It’s not that deep.

Sio kila kitu Inakuanga serious sana, pumua. Lmao, pumua took me out.😂😂😂 Seriously though, have you ever stressed so much over something that didn’t happen or that turned out okay? Yeah, same.

Tupumue. 💀

23. Vitu mob Sio must.

A lot of things cause unnecessary stress, don’t engage.

24. Things will work out in the end.

This I know for sure.❤️.

HAPPY, WORKING GIRL???


Happy New Year!!! Your favourite working girl is back to spice up your day with her adventures.You ask the Lord for patience and he plants you in Rongai traffic to see if you’re really equipped to be a patient human being.
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Monday 6:30am, I was super proud of myself for doing my morning routine in under thirty minutes. Congratulations working girl, it seems you’ve unlocked a new layer of yourself this year.
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The key is preparation before you go to bed. Have your outfit ready and bag packed the night before, I assure you, it saves you a lot of time. Figuring it out in the morning will waste your good time. That is where you go wrong (I had to).
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I actually thought I had something going with my new departure time (I had a really bad time track record, especially in December, sigh). I was still late for work, I got there at 8:45am, yes Lang’ata road traffic will do that to you.



There were so many cars in traffic, my word!!! It’s like everyone said, “January is finally over, let’s take out our toys to play!” No really, I believe there was a memo car owners sent each other.
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Tuesday 6:35am. Don’t judge me, even after yesterday’s experience, I hadn’t the desire to leave earlier. There’s an interesting phenomenon that happens where I reside, people actually wait for nganyas (big beautiful buses with a lot of graffiti, which is art too and Hella loud music) and neglect the cheaper older ones. I was one of those people on Tuesday.


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The reason people opt for these nganyas is speed, they overlap. Nganyas do not respect traffic laws, they make their own traffic laws. They also, more often than not, have a totally different price than the rest. Guess we have to pay for the hype, eey???
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Quick question, does any of you believe these game shows are actually true??? The early radio ones. I don’t know how I feel about them. What if they just hire someone to call in and give them a small cut from the money?


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It could actually even be one of their staff members, Nkiro from IT. Listen guys, I’m on to something. So they tell Nkiro the right answer and tell her to call in at a specific time, or, they make sure they pick Nkiro’s call first. I don’t know, maybe they’ll make sure she really is  ‘caller number fifteen’ with an alias. Bottomline, I’m usually very skeptical about these game shows.
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Yes, even the ones where people hold dummy cheques and pose for photos.  Did you know whatever they win is taxed heavily??? Trust the government to do that.
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Speaking of tax, doesn’t it make you mad that a huge chunk of your hard-earned money is deducted from your salary only to end up in greedy people’s pockets? It makes me so mad!!!7:40am, Mbagathi way. Not bad. I actually made the right decision to board this matatu. It has overlapped, used the alternative route that boarders Kibera.
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I’ve been thinking by the way, iPad slum edition??? Why not. 🙂


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I might have bashed radio shows, but, I like their advertising method, they ensure the message hits home. Repetition is key, it appeals to the psyche. Jingles too.
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I’ve just remembered when I used to be an intern, the matatus I’d use had avid fans of Ghetto Radio. Some of the segments they had were purely entertaining. Listeners would call in and embarrass their deadbeat partners, some would call in with horrid confessions (others hilarious) and the icing on the cake would be the sheng news. Walikuwa wanatupeleka na rieng.
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Such funny and fond memories.


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8:10am, I am Here!!! Keep up working girl!!!  The difference between yesterday and today is that I might have chosen the wrong bus yesterday. I chose the right one today. 🙂 #pronganya #nganyasupporter.
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Wednesday, 7:09am, fate links me up with yesterday’s ‘nganya’ (well, in all honesty, it’s not in the class of other nganyas, but it sure as hell is not like the slower buses). You know what they say, if it moves like a nganya, then it most definitely is a nganya.
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We were meant to be, I really hope the driver pulls off yesterday’s overlapping stunts. Yes, I was slightly late today, I left home at 6:45am, not a good look working girl. Not a good look. Just seen a matatu written ‘Da Stone, Da Builder’. Wow, Jesus must be smiling from above.
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I have actually walked for a short stretch today, the matatu I’d boarded from home had excess passengers, me being one of them. I know, don’t ask. On seeing the cops, the conductor told all of us in the middle row to alight. He returned part of our money though.
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As fortune would have it, I got to the central stage just as the bus got there from town. This should be a love story. The lass and the bus. Lol. The music playing today is rhumba.  The lady seated behind me is humming along. Don’t get me wrong, I advocate for free will, but at least have a good voice or know the lyrics if you’re going to upset your neighbors.


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The man next to her is trying to sleep, poor thing!!! The overlapping has begun, let’s celebrate brethren.It’s like she starts humming every song, then towards the end she stops, then I get relief that she’s stopped, only for her to start with the next song. Lord, save us.
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I’m kinda sleepy, I don’t know if I should give way to my body’s desires. I didn’t sleep, I read my book instead. It’s captivating. 8:09am, we’re here, working girl!!! I’m so happy!!! ☺️
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Whew, this is going to be a long blog.
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Thursday, same nganya, surely this can’t just be a coincidence. The lass and the bus coming soon to a screen near you. I forgot to post the blog yesterday so more content for us, yes???  Yes.
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It’s 7:30am, Bomas. Two baboons are fighting, one mother baboon has a baby baboon on her back, so cute!!! They say everyone has a price, Lang’ata Road traffic, what’s yours??? What do we need to do to appease you??
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This driver always overlaps, props to him. Just when I thought we’ve exhausted all possible shortcuts, we pass inside the cemetery. The road is dusty, so we sure have had our share of red dust.
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I’ve spotted 8 freshly dug graves and ninth one is being dug. Oh my word!!! That’s too many graves in one day, so unfortunate. The other shortcut we use borders Kibera slum. The largest urban slum in Africa. I got photos today.
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The sun today did not come out to play, it’s decided to shine (no pun intended) and remind us who is boss. 7:48am, still stuck in Lang’ata Road traffic.
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This is a reminder that I prayed for patience and the Lord decided this is how I’ll learn it. It’s funny how the bus and I are in sync, if I’m late, it waits for me. Three days in a row??? What a coincidence!!! The lass and the bus.
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8:20am. We’re here working girl and we sure are happy. 🙂

Love Hacks

I know, I know, I’ve become inconsistent, like your ex was. Just kidding!!! Not sure I was though. Oh dear me, I must have forgotten that one of my goals this year was to be nicer. I’m clearly slacking on that one.

It has come to my attention that many people come to me to offload and rant about their relationship issues. One of my principles is to keep the issues to myself (and use them as constant reminders as to why I need to stay single). You know what they say, single people give the best advice.

Source:- Deposit Photos

From my numerous years of practice as an unpaid therapist, there are a few tips I’ve learned on the job. My side hustle as a ‘relationship counsellor’ or in the words of my clients (mostly women, by the way) , ‘Doctor Love’.

I hang up my boots on the ‘part time job’ (that didn’t earn me a single dime) a year ago after I got attacked. Well, that’s another tale for another day (or somewhere later in this article).

Here are some of my top 5 love tips. Straight from the oven that is an unpaid practice in listening to and trying to resolve relationship drama.

1. Watu waliojifunika na blanketi moja, usijihusishe na Mambo yao

There, I said it. Do not intervene in relationship matters, unless maybe, it’s your relationship. I even wrote it in Swahili for emphasis, also, it sounds better that way.

You remember the attack I mentioned earlier, it was by one of my client’s partners. He told me he knew everything I was telling ‘the apple of his eye’, who he used to treat badly, by the way. He dissed me in a subtle way.

That was the day I walked away from my then blossoming career in love tips. I was really good. I loved that women would see their worth after my ‘sessions’.

Need I say that that attack added me an extra hater on my long list of my then haters. That’s one more complaint to the big guy upstairs about me. I’m not trynna get my name scrapped off from the good book, so I had to slow down the love train.

My advice? Act dumb. Use the ‘What do you think is the right thing to do?’ on your clients. They probably have the answer to that. That way, when s*it hits the fan, it’s on them, not you.

You can thank me later. MPESA number is 07… Lmao. I’m kidding. I’ll send you my rate card instead.

Source:- Huffpost

2. You deserve love, Nana.

…and let the church say ‘AMEN!!!’. Yes, you. You that had your heart broken a few times in the past. I’m so sorry if anyone made you feel like you’re unworthy of love.

You deserve soft, unproblematic and genuine love. I need to affirm this more. Teach it, preach it and live it.

3. Love isn’t painful.

Source:- Pintrest

I know, I said I’ll stay out of ‘watu wawili ambao wamejifunika blanketi moja’s business, but love isn’t supposed to hurt. I’m not saying it’s all blissful like fairytales or telenovelas.

P.S:- The Cuando seas Mia theme song subconsciously played in my head when I said telenovela.

They’ll be tough times, granted, but tough times won’t be ‘KPLC’ texting your partner ‘You up?’ at 2am. Tough times won’t be abuse or constant gaslighting. Okay, I promised myself I won’t be the love doctor anymore. Tempting, but I’ll be strong.

4. Love or lust???

Guuuuuurrrrllll!!!

I do not shy away from acknowledging an attractive human being, that’s quite in order. However, lingering on thoughts of myself and the attractive person in compromising positions is lust.

Lust is physical.

Source:- EBSQ

You can also spot a real one from interacting with them, one who you don’t want to be in compromising situations with (at least not yet *cough*). One indicator is that you’d like to go deeper (no pun intended) with this person. You’re not only interested in their exterior, but also their interior, what do they like? What do they believe in? Their favourite colour (yes, I had to).

5. Love is stupid.

Before you go about throwing around the three word sentence like confetti, ask yourself, “Do I lust for them or do I love them?”

You’ll do many crazy things for the one your heart beats for (I may look okay, but deep down, I wanted to add ‘like the West African drums).

Nobody tells you in advance that love is stupid. You’ll see the number of things you did and laugh at yourself. However, do not entertain disrespect in the name of love.

Bonus Point.

It’s not Nairobi, you’re just promiscuous. Oh well, do you booboo. To each, their own.

Love and light.

Signed,

Doctor Love. ❤️❤️

5 Things I’m Taking With Me To The New Year

December 23rd 2020. 7:33am. Dear working girl, start on a clean slate in 2021. Please!!! I woke up in a writing mood today. It’s my official last day at the office today, thanks to weekly shifts due to corona. I’ll still be working next week, only from home. Praise be!!!
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I’m glad I got my writing jig on this year. I wanted to leave you guys with a fun one, from your favourite working girl, ME.


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P.S:- (Working Girl Chronicles) For the first time today, I’ve gotten a matatu that is heading straight to town, I don’t have to connect. Yay!!!
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Welp!!! We’ve been arrested, rather the driver and the conductor. I celebrated a bit too soon.
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We’ve had to board another matatu at Tuskys, the cop escorted them to the police station.
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So here goes the 5 things I’m Carrying To 2021 (or taking with me to the new year, or holding close to me in the new year). You know what, I’m sure you get the drift.
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1. The Lord, My Provider.
Let me tell you Maina, had it not been for the Lord, so many things would have gone wrong. Thank God I’m making it out alive and well and for many other blessings he’s bestowed upon me.

Source:-Deziah


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2. Feminism.
This is a hill I’m genuinely willing to die on. :-). I am a woman, by a woman and for women (this should be my feminist slogan). Y’all remember history??? I derived that from  the definition of democracy. 🙂


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Source:-The Messy Truth of Mommyhood


3. Eyeshadow.
Don’t look at me like that, Nana. You know I kill it in eye shadow. I just need to perfect the art of application, both of eye shadow  and make up. Yes, I think make up is beautiful art, to hell with all those misogynistic myths about make up.

Source:- Shari F


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4. Abundance Mentality.
I want 2021 to be my year of abundance. 🙂
I know, I know. The Rona, corruption, men (LOLOLOLOL), all these things going wrong in the world, but I still want to speak abundance over my life, in all aspects. 🙂

Source: Behance


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5. African Literature.
Best believe!!!
I love African stories a bit too much, especially fictional ones. I have a creative mind, so I feel really represented when I read a good story.

Source:- Nka Nkatha Channel❤️


These are just 5, in no particular order, to jumpstart my writing again, because I’ve been a bad blogger.
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There are some that are non negotiable, like family, content creation, hydration, work, my skin care routine, etc.
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What are some of the things you’re taking with you to 2021??? Are you excited about it? Let me know in the comment section. 🙂

I wish you a Merry Christmas. ❤️

Welcome Back, Working Girl.

Wahenga walisema kuwa ‘Siku Njema Huonekana Asubuhi’. Kidosho yule aliamka  na furaha tele. Jumatano ilikuwa siku aliyependa zaidi kuliko zingine zote. Alienzi pia Jumapili na Ijumaa, lakini Jumatano ilimpa bashasha kupindukia.

I’m a bit rusty, I haven’t written in ages. I had fatigue last week, which made sense since I hadn’t taken leave days, ever! Work flow yesterday was good, I enjoyed ‘day one’ of my work week.

There’s a bit of traffic along Lang’ata Road, it’s been caused by that bump. I was mind blown when I heard bumps actually cause a bit of traffic.

The conductor is one heck of a swindler, he’s overcharged everyone. I have marked his face, I’ll never board his matatu, ever. I wonder if he’ll look back and question himself, probably not. He looks ice cold, like he’s used to being a shark and ruling the ocean, while we, the smaller fish, move cautiously.

The driver, on the other hand, forgot his way around bumps. One mishap is okay, but three??? Sigh!

For a long time I’ve been wanting to have necessary conversations on my platform. Convos on consent (which I’ll start with), harrassment, assault, finances, etc. Basically women rights and everything feminism. Who knows? That could be my niche. Let’s see how it all pans out. Wish me luck.

My tasks today revolve around creativity and I’m honestly here for it. I’ll also do hella research on consent. I’d want my video to be detailed. Getting a ring light for my content, Yaaay!!! There’s a man coughing in this matatu, scary much.

Now in Madaraka, it’s 7:55am , working girl. I carried breakfast and lunch, so I’ll be heading straight to the office. It’s 8:00am, Nyayo Stage. These new number plates look nice. There’s a sticker in this matatu advertising camel soup and its benefits. I’m a bit adventurous, but damn, a camel?

I hope I’ll get to work in good time, hopefully. Not too late, just reasonably late. Why are we being held in traffic? This reminds me of ‘blue uniform’ by Sauti Sol. I’m dedicating it to the traffic officer today, only that in my case I’m not walking around without my ID from singing practice. I love that band.

Did I tell you the greedy conductor made us change matatus??? It was just me and a guy left, most people alighted at Nyayo Stadium. He tried to make away with my Ksh.50 change. Out here pretending he’d given the new conductor my change. First you overcharge me, then try steal? Man, you are cancelled.

I really laughed at the new conductor’s Kikuyu narration to the driver about how Mwangi (the greedy one) had just tried to steal from abiria (me). Traffic along Uhuru Highway, just next to Neno Evangelism Center, Haha. All those pastor Ng’ang’a memes replaying in my head now. Especially the guitar one. Then there’s the Snoop Dog one, pahaha. Did he just -? Anyway, 8:14 am, Agip. 8:20am, the office. Yaaaasss!!! We love to see it!!!

Welcome back, working girl. 😉

REALLY, WORKING GIRL???


“Kwani hii boda Iko na speed governor???” “Mbona anaenda polepole hivi sasa???” “Sasa mbona ulisnooze? Vitu Mob Si must aaaaghhh!” Those are some of the questions I asked myself on my motorbike ride to the main stage.

I really cussed internally. In case you’re wondering why I took a ‘nduthi’ all matatus that passed by my home stage were packed to capacity, yes, including the ‘DO NOT SIT HERE’ seats.

When we got to the market, the motorbike halted abruptly because of fuel issues. One of his colleagues passed us and asked him jokingly (or not), “Kwani uliweka mafuta ya thirty Bob?” I had to get off the bike to give him space, then he opened the fuel tank and sucked it to stir the fuel inside. I must admit that it scared me for a minute because I thought he might invest it accidentally, but then again he looked so comfortable doing it, so I let it slide.

In a few seconds, we were back on track (no pun intended). Press ignition, let’s roll. “Ingia haraka haraka, hapa Hakuna mafuta,” he said. I did exactly as he said because heaven knows I wasn’t going to walk the remaining distance. The speed at which we rode was alarming, he kept hooting at innocent pedestrians who’d come from the market to purchase fresh produce.

Source:-Dreamtime

All of a sudden the snail speed he exhibited at first made sense to me, he was most likely afraid to run out of fuel. When we got to the stage, he apologised for the mishap and said he’d forgotten to fuel his tool of trade. In all honesty, I was just happy to get to the stage.

I boarded the first bus (I know) I saw because of haste. 7:30am, really, working girl??? Allow me ‘sanitize’ myself (as our politicians in Kenya do all the time) by saying that for the whole of this week, I’ve been really punctual, like 8:00am punctual.

We can confidently say that my calls to do better by myself on matters punctuality from the previous blogs have worked? In my defense, today is Fri-yay, what harm could ‘putting in extra sleep’ do??? Okay, I need to stop being tardy. I have a long weekend ahead. I work from home on Mondays and next Tuesday is a public holiday. It feels so good to be one of God’s favourite child. 

Source:-Friendlystock

It’s 8:05am, I’m now at Nyayo Stadium. There was no traffic jam, which is a huge surprise when you live where I live. Okay, I might have jinxed it, there’s the usuall Nyayo traffic. Peeped the Yamaha showroom and spotted a very sexy motorbike. Such a pretty little thing. I’d love to learn to ride one day though. I’ve always wanted to learn, I just haven’t been intentional about it though. Fridays make me feel like I’m not enjoying my youth to the maximum. I literally always have no ‘Fri-yay’ plans. Oh well, all in due time. I got to work at 8:25am… Whoops!!! Is that all you can say??? Really, Working Girl???
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Cheers.

CONGRATULATIONS, WORKING GIRL.

My punctuality has been under attack off late. The girl who’d get to work at 6:20 am or 7:00 am is now no more. She died. Dead as a DODO.


I keep saying I’ll do better, but I can’t bring myself to it. It’s 8:30am, I prefer to withhold information about where exactly I am. This is purely out of shame and not security purposes (because the internet can be scary). Yesterday I celebrate my first year anniversary with ice cream and good music. I had an ice cream party. 🙂

That makes today the first day of my second year in my successful content creation career. I’m genuinely excited to see where this will go. We had an incident in the morning, the door of the matatu I was in initially fell off. They tried fixing it, but to no avail. I had to walk to the main stage to get another vehicle. It’s Fri-Yay!!! I really like my outfit, so chic!!! I look awesome.

Congratulations, Working Girl.

For putting in the work for a whole year. I wish you all the best as you move forward. May all your dreams come true. 8:39am, my word!!! I’ll get to work REALLY LATE!!! What is this culture you’ve picked up. Oh, I know. It’s sleeping late as you move across all social media platforms then in turn struggling to wake up in the morning. You are a chronic snoozer, working girl. I’ve seen a man with a hoodie written ‘Ooliskia Wapi???’ Haha, we’re never late Kenyan, now, are we???. 🙂

There’s a noisy man on phone telling his friend, “Jana kulishika bro.” For crying out loud it’s 8:43am, Sir. I miss my bed, from the deepest part of my heart. I’m so sleepy. I’m facing consequences of my poor decisions. I should put a data limit on my phone, or alternatively set a sleeping and waking up time, yeah, just like in primary school. I can’t function well as a sleep deprived girl. It will probably also affect my mood at work.

We’ve passed that church that is in between two mortuaries. It scares me, imagine being mid service and seeing a body being brought in or taken out. 8:50am, jeez, working girl. Are you serious??? The phone man is still speaking. Now at Kenya National Library services , 8:55am. I wonder if their services are good. When I’ll do my Master’s, I’ll probably go their to research. Speaking of Master’s, maybe I’m ready to enroll. I’ve seen a car with a very beautiful bonnet, they’ve put cartoon stickers and on the roof too.

I’m thinking about the walk of shame I’ll do as I strut into the office past 9:00am. Unachoma, working girl. Unaburn Sana. I just want to go back to my 8:00am days. Next week, I’ll pull up my socks. Congratulations though, for being consistent in putting out content for a whole year. May your next year be full of pleasant surprises. 🙂